Forget it, Jake. Itās Coronatown. š¦
I am sick of the virus, even if I havenāt been sickened by it yet. (Maybe I have, though.)
Meanwhile, every night in my dreams (hello, Celine Dion), I travel to places I cannot go. In my precious p.m. slumber, Iāve been to Europe (Florence and some little town in Belgium), Austin, Texas, and somewhere in upstate New York (I think Hudson).
This is probably because I canāt go anywhere in real life. Luckily, Iām always tired now, so I can spend more time exploring the world in my sleep.
Iām tired because, like all of us, I have more work to do than I used to.
If youāre sickāwith the virus, with something else, with both, etc.āeverything is harder now because you require more care from institutions that are even less able to provide it.
If you have lost work and income, your waking moments have been injected with the stress of surviving impossible circumstances.
If youāve kept your job, that job is probably harder now. This is quadruply true for essential workers.
Now we have to clean ourselves and our environs constantly, and the payment for this additional labor is a diminished probability that we will contract and transmit the virus.
If weāre healthy enough and able to work out, we have to do that a lot now to stave off atrophy because unfortunately plague dread doesnāt give you muscles (but it should).
And weāre all experiencing an acute case of communal grief, but without any physical community, or even a society that facilitates community.
Itās hard and sad to realize in such a violent way that there is no such thing as your self-interest vs. my self-interest when it comes to public health. Whether or not we want to be, we are at war as a species, and we either fight together or die. We are simply bodies, and thatās a factual reality we cannot escape. Some people will be better off than othersāand this pandemic has exposed the basic inequalities of our society as plainly as anything could. Itās not, as some have said, an equal-opportunity pathogen. But we are all vulnerable, and we are all not okay right now.
Jupiter and Pluto are not social distancing š”
From an astrological standpoint, this is too obvious. Yesterday on the 4th, Jupiter, planet of expansion, met with Pluto, planet of death, and I donāt think I need to spell out what that happens when you put āexpansionā and ādeathā together. Like, give me something to interpret. Itās literally an equation for a global pandemic. And while this aspect peaked yesterday, these two planets are going to be hanging out in close quartersānot even 6 feet apart, probablyāin Capricorn for a long time. Like, all year.
Jessica Lanyadoo, astrologer and author, has a good briefing on what this all means, and how it necessitates a revolution. Pluto by itself doesnāt signify revolution (thatās Uranusā gig), but it does expose the deep social rot that makes it inevitable.
Itās not illogical to be optimistic about how we may progress from here, but right now, weāre mired in shit, and itās natural to feel hopeless and overwhelmed by it. (But Jessica makes me feel a little better!)
Back when I was an idiot š¤”
Now that we better understand how easily this virus can spread among the asymptomatic, I realize that I unknowingly engaged in extremely risky behavior in February and early March.
I had no idea.
I did a dating show, and I lost (emotionally risky)
I paid for a happy ending massage
I went to Zurich, Switzerland
I went to Austin, Texas
Also, in late February I was sick for weeks with a horrible cough. Did I have it? Probably, maybe. Anyway, Iām sorry.
Horoscopes without the virus š±
Iām going to write the following horoscopes as if we have not been savaged by a viral plague and criminally negligent leadership.
All times are Eastern, and all time is meaningless.
Monday 4/6
This is an incredibly productive day. The moon is getting along with taskmaster Saturn, Energizer bunny Mars, loquacious Mercury, and money-loving Venus. Talk to people, get in their faces, convince them of your worth. If you were going to ask for a raise or interview for your dream job, do it on this day.
Wait. The moon is void of course (out of commission and essentially retrograde) until it enters Libra at 5:16 p.m. Soā¦ basically, if you had plans in place, I guess leave them there and let those sparkly aspects buoy you along. And if you didnāt, donāt put anything down in writing until the evening.
Tuesday 4/7
Watch out for arguments or sharp elbows around lunchtime. You wonāt like being provoked, so preempt an altercation by biting your own tongue. Draft your venom in an email and donāt hit send until nighttime.
Wednesday 4/8
Not an eventful day. Wouldnāt be surprised if everyone just stayed in.
Also, the moon is void of course until it enters Scorpio at 4:17 p.m. Just to reinforce that this is a nothing day.
Thursday 4/9
Also kind of a nothing day, which is fine. I hope to spend it staring out of my window in a bathrobe contemplating the inner lives of rare, colorful birds. š¦
Friday 4/10
A sparkling, glorious day. āØ The moon (our emotional center) is in harmonious aspects with the strong-willed sun, as well as all the outer planets: creative Neptune, generous Jupiter, intense Pluto, and effective Saturn. This is a day to get in touch with your long-term plans and take at least one step forward. Even if that plan is: ābe happy,ā and the step is: āgo for a long walk.ā Youāll think of something brilliant on that walk. Even if that thought is: āhey, I think too much.ā
Oh, Mercury enters Aries. Prepare for more decisive, sharp, biting thoughts and words from you and others. Weāre about to cut through a lot of bullshit, and it may make us cry from time to time.
Saturday 4/11
Pluto and Saturn are in each otherās favor, which means that hard work may be the key to our collective healing. Thatās generally true, and will be true for a while, as those planets are slow moving, but itās especially resonant today.
Sunday 4/12
Moon is void of course pretty much all day until it enters Capricorn at 8:05 p.m. Maybe that means a lazy Sunday, hopefully free of scaries. Maybe youāll go out to brunch with your friends! š„ But the pressure is off for you to be āon,ā and that may feel very nice.
That actually helped me forget about our collective nightmare. Thank you. š