The winner of Pisces season is Pisces! 👑🐟

And there's literally a full moon tomorrow... ❄🌕

Hello new subscribers, and welcome to I don’t believe in astrology, a newsletter for people who believe in astrology.

This is me embracing (and kissing) that contradiction.

For those new to the program, I send this out semi-regularly to give an update on what astrological news is about to devastate or delight us. And then I muse on how impossible it feels to depend on planetary bodies millions (at least?) of miles away.

This issue I have some pressing business coming up you should think about:

Pisces season is here TODAY! 🎉 It heralds the last gusts of winter as it fights for its life (and also prepares to die). Pisces season is what happens when all the optimistic theorizing of Aquarius gets put into action, and we see how it makes us FEEL. Pisces season is about winter and tears mixed together. This is NOT the time of year to sleep on your self-care. I’m not just talking gummy vitamins and lavender candles (although, absolutely), I’m talking about going to the dentist. I’m talking about checking on your blood cell count. Or getting that vision test. (These are all reminders for myself, and I need to do them.) Also, every Pisces is psychic (factually not true, and yet it is), and their powers only grow with the season. Go easy on them, and don’t ask for much emotional or psychic labor from them at this time.

Full moon TOMORROW! The Cold Moon in Virgo is a cold bitch, opposed by both Mercury and Neptune. Mercury is our ability to reason our way out of problems, and Neptune is the planet of intercepting reason with dreams and addictive substances. This means deception and delusion will be especially powerful. Not my cup of tea as a rational Gemini! (Or as anyone.) Beware of slick and charming narcissists. Beware of people who are unkind to themselves because they will be unkind to you, too. It’s not personal, but please protect yourselves.

Tiny plug, but I co-wrote a piece in the New Yorker with my friend Ysabel on alternate definitions for the phrase “wintry mix,” which is inadvertently very relevant to Pisces themes.

A Pisces is just a mermaid in a bathtub drinking a glass of wine, keeping both her halves wet. May we all behave accordingly. 🧜‍♀️🍷🛁