Too scared to be an Aquar


And Yet She Got It

I wrote a (bad) think piece in my head while I slept the other night. My brain fixated on something the actress Florence Pugh wrote on her Instagram in response to a commenter critically pointing out that her boyfriend, the actress Zach Braff, was 44. For context, Florence just turned 24 (she is a Capricorn). So the commenter said, “you’re 44 years old” to Zach, and Florence said, “and yet he got it.”

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This sentence lodged itself in my brain, and as I slept, I repeated it over and over, possessed by its poetry.

The piece I wrote in this dream was to be called, “And Yet She Got It,” and it was meant to be a profile of her seemingly (at least to me) meteoric rise to stardom, her talent, her Oscar nomination, her alarming maturity and self-possession, and so forth. And then I went into the Zach Braff piece, laying out why I’m never going to be glad to see a man date a woman half his age. Why I maintain that it’s important to point it out when we see it and hold it up for critique. Not to shrug it off as normal or let it reinforce the nauseous messaging we already swallow about gender and age.

But then I also explored the danger of violating the agency of the women who actually date these jabronis. While the trend in aggregate is disturbing, at the level of the individual couple, it’s no one’s business. I’m sympathetic to what she gets out of it—a more emotionally mature man (relatively), someone passionate, someone more unself-consciously in touch with his desires. Even though she’s a stunning, bright talent, it’s more clear to me why she’s with him than the other way around. Of course she’s gorgeous and lovely, but what is his ability to truly relate to her? What exactly is so attractive about someone who could be his child? Is she just an object to him? Is there a projected (or real?) “innocence” that is the turn on? What exactly is the kink? Soft pedophilia? I know it’s sexism, but what kind?

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The piece raised more questions than answers, as all bad think pieces do, and pretty much as soon as I woke up I knew it was unusable.

What am I doing?

I’m writing about Florence Pugh and her dumb boyfriend because I’m scared to write about astrology. It’s been a long time, and I feel self-conscious. Yesterday was a powerful new moon eclipse in Aquarius, my rising sign and one of my favorites. But this one was poorly aspected (squared) to its home planet, Uranus which is stuck in the mud of Taurus until 2026, making it very tense and uncomfortable.

In other words, this moon is the sign of being a total alien, but it’s at odds with that sign’s one true home. Can the perpetually homesick get even more homesick?

This new moon heralds in Aquarius season as we will know it in 2020, and what we’re getting is Big Divorce Energy. A mood that looks at every connection in our lives and skips ahead 10 years to its inevitable dissolution. Whether or not we presage these grim endings or create them through belief is a question for Pisces season…

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The future doesn’t always look bright to Aquarians—it looks like whatever the future is because they have the insight to really see it. And no one is as ready as Aquarians to accept that dystopia and war are on their way—not even Aries. Because Aquarius is about changing the old order, and those guards don’t just stand down; the status quo must be fully conquered before we can erect new systems. And that’s war.

This is why Aquarians are both known for their affinity for justice and humanitarian goodwill and also a tendency toward unempathetic absolutism. Because rarely do folks engage in the latter without believing in the ideals of the former. The goodness of Aquarians depends on their ability to recognize and contain their instincts for tyranny. That’s a hard thing to trust anyone to do.

With this new moon bringing up such a difficult incarnation of Aquarian energy, we have to be even braver and humbler, and more willing to see ourselves as the monsters we so compulsively want to fight—and, of course, to forgive ourselves for our unforgiveable sins.

Horoscopes until February

As Zach Braff wonders at the end of Garden State, a movie he wrote about a man falling in love with a woman-child, “what do we do?”

I don’t know, Zach, but here’s what’s up as I see it until February. All times are Eastern.

This weekend 📚

  • Saturday and Sunday are both kind of nothing days, with the moon going void of course today at 2:06 p.m. until 6:44 p.m. tomorrow evening. Basically these are times to power through your to-do lists and not be very social. Unless hanging out with people is on your to-do list, in which case bombs away.

Monday 💕

  • Venus and Neptune are cozy together in Pisces at 3:00 p.m., which is stunning. Venus is the planet of love, and Neptune is the planet of glamour and artistic genius and intoxication—so Neptune represents a higher evolution of Venus. When Venus is in the sign of Pisces (which is ruled by Neptune) it’s considered “exalted,” and that’s where Venus and Neptune are joining forces today. This is an opportunity for brilliance, spiritual revelation, getting people on your side, getting people to fall in love with you, falling in love with yourself, saving or making money. This aspect isn’t about struggling for growth—it’s an invitation to dance.

Tuesday 😭

  • Watch out for Mars and Neptune squaring off at 5:34 a.m. That’s early, but this energy of sharp tongues and easily hurt feelings may pervade the morning.

Wednesday 🐏

  • Moon is in Aries, which is pure harmony for me (I was born with my moon in Aries) and an invitation to be in your body today and win a push-up contest.

Thursday 😎

  • A fine day, nothing too exciting going on.

Friday 💙

  • The moon is void from 10:10 a.m. until 7:28 p.m., when it enters Taurus, a sweet and calm place for it to be going into next weekend. No big strategic initiatives or interviews today—just keep your head down and finish up the tasks right in front of you. Everything else can wait until February… ❄