Astrology without the virus 😷

We're alone in the universe 👽

Forget it, Jake. It’s Coronatown. 💦

I am sick of the virus, even if I haven’t been sickened by it yet. (Maybe I have, though.)

Meanwhile, every night in my dreams (hello, Celine Dion), I travel to places I cannot go. In my precious p.m. slumber, I’ve been to Europe (Florence and some little town in Belgium), Austin, Texas, and somewhere in upstate New York (I think Hudson).

Celine Dion GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

This is probably because I can’t go anywhere in real life. Luckily, I’m always tired now, so I can spend more time exploring the world in my sleep.

I’m tired because, like all of us, I have more work to do than I used to.

  • If you’re sick—with the virus, with something else, with both, etc.—everything is harder now because you require more care from institutions that are even less able to provide it.

  • If you have lost work and income, your waking moments have been injected with the stress of surviving impossible circumstances.

  • If you’ve kept your job, that job is probably harder now. This is quadruply true for essential workers.

  • Now we have to clean ourselves and our environs constantly, and the payment for this additional labor is a diminished probability that we will contract and transmit the virus.

  • If we’re healthy enough and able to work out, we have to do that a lot now to stave off atrophy because unfortunately plague dread doesn’t give you muscles (but it should).

  • And we’re all experiencing an acute case of communal grief, but without any physical community, or even a society that facilitates community.

It’s hard and sad to realize in such a violent way that there is no such thing as your self-interest vs. my self-interest when it comes to public health. Whether or not we want to be, we are at war as a species, and we either fight together or die. We are simply bodies, and that’s a factual reality we cannot escape. Some people will be better off than others—and this pandemic has exposed the basic inequalities of our society as plainly as anything could. It’s not, as some have said, an equal-opportunity pathogen. But we are all vulnerable, and we are all not okay right now.

Jupiter and Pluto are not social distancing 😡

From an astrological standpoint, this is too obvious. Yesterday on the 4th, Jupiter, planet of expansion, met with Pluto, planet of death, and I don’t think I need to spell out what that happens when you put “expansion” and “death” together. Like, give me something to interpret. It’s literally an equation for a global pandemic. And while this aspect peaked yesterday, these two planets are going to be hanging out in close quarters—not even 6 feet apart, probably—in Capricorn for a long time. Like, all year.

Jessica Lanyadoo, astrologer and author, has a good briefing on what this all means, and how it necessitates a revolution. Pluto by itself doesn’t signify revolution (that’s Uranus’ gig), but it does expose the deep social rot that makes it inevitable.

It’s not illogical to be optimistic about how we may progress from here, but right now, we’re mired in shit, and it’s natural to feel hopeless and overwhelmed by it. (But Jessica makes me feel a little better!)

Jupiter will form an exact conjunction to Pluto in Capricorn (♃☌♇♑︎) on April 4th, and again in June and November. This is a transit that can bring about revolution. In this season of ‘change or be changed’, who will you choose be?
This is an excerpt from this week’s horoscope on episode 94 of my weekly astrology & advice podcast, @ghostofapodcast. Listen to the whole ep + horoscope anywhere podcasts are heard. Link always in bio 💜.
April 4, 2020

Back when I was an idiot 🤡

Now that we better understand how easily this virus can spread among the asymptomatic, I realize that I unknowingly engaged in extremely risky behavior in February and early March.

I had no idea.

  • I did a dating show, and I lost (emotionally risky)

  • I paid for a happy ending massage

  • I went to Zurich, Switzerland

  • I went to Austin, Texas

Also, in late February I was sick for weeks with a horrible cough. Did I have it? Probably, maybe. Anyway, I’m sorry.

Horoscopes without the virus 🌱

I’m going to write the following horoscopes as if we have not been savaged by a viral plague and criminally negligent leadership.

All times are Eastern, and all time is meaningless.

Monday 4/6

  • This is an incredibly productive day. The moon is getting along with taskmaster Saturn, Energizer bunny Mars, loquacious Mercury, and money-loving Venus. Talk to people, get in their faces, convince them of your worth. If you were going to ask for a raise or interview for your dream job, do it on this day.

  • Wait. The moon is void of course (out of commission and essentially retrograde) until it enters Libra at 5:16 p.m. So… basically, if you had plans in place, I guess leave them there and let those sparkly aspects buoy you along. And if you didn’t, don’t put anything down in writing until the evening.

Tuesday 4/7

  • Watch out for arguments or sharp elbows around lunchtime. You won’t like being provoked, so preempt an altercation by biting your own tongue. Draft your venom in an email and don’t hit send until nighttime.

Wednesday 4/8

  • Not an eventful day. Wouldn’t be surprised if everyone just stayed in.

  • Also, the moon is void of course until it enters Scorpio at 4:17 p.m. Just to reinforce that this is a nothing day.

Thursday 4/9

  • Also kind of a nothing day, which is fine. I hope to spend it staring out of my window in a bathrobe contemplating the inner lives of rare, colorful birds. 🦜

Friday 4/10

  • A sparkling, glorious day. ✨ The moon (our emotional center) is in harmonious aspects with the strong-willed sun, as well as all the outer planets: creative Neptune, generous Jupiter, intense Pluto, and effective Saturn. This is a day to get in touch with your long-term plans and take at least one step forward. Even if that plan is: “be happy,” and the step is: “go for a long walk.” You’ll think of something brilliant on that walk. Even if that thought is: “hey, I think too much.”

  • Oh, Mercury enters Aries. Prepare for more decisive, sharp, biting thoughts and words from you and others. We’re about to cut through a lot of bullshit, and it may make us cry from time to time.

Saturday 4/11

  • Pluto and Saturn are in each other’s favor, which means that hard work may be the key to our collective healing. That’s generally true, and will be true for a while, as those planets are slow moving, but it’s especially resonant today.

Sunday 4/12

  • Moon is void of course pretty much all day until it enters Capricorn at 8:05 p.m. Maybe that means a lazy Sunday, hopefully free of scaries. Maybe you’ll go out to brunch with your friends! 🥞 But the pressure is off for you to be “on,” and that may feel very nice.

That actually helped me forget about our collective nightmare. Thank you. 💖

Too scared to be an Aquar


And Yet She Got It

I wrote a (bad) think piece in my head while I slept the other night. My brain fixated on something the actress Florence Pugh wrote on her Instagram in response to a commenter critically pointing out that her boyfriend, the actress Zach Braff, was 44. For context, Florence just turned 24 (she is a Capricorn). So the commenter said, “you’re 44 years old” to Zach, and Florence said, “and yet he got it.”

Image result for florence pugh gif


This sentence lodged itself in my brain, and as I slept, I repeated it over and over, possessed by its poetry.

The piece I wrote in this dream was to be called, “And Yet She Got It,” and it was meant to be a profile of her seemingly (at least to me) meteoric rise to stardom, her talent, her Oscar nomination, her alarming maturity and self-possession, and so forth. And then I went into the Zach Braff piece, laying out why I’m never going to be glad to see a man date a woman half his age. Why I maintain that it’s important to point it out when we see it and hold it up for critique. Not to shrug it off as normal or let it reinforce the nauseous messaging we already swallow about gender and age.

But then I also explored the danger of violating the agency of the women who actually date these jabronis. While the trend in aggregate is disturbing, at the level of the individual couple, it’s no one’s business. I’m sympathetic to what she gets out of it—a more emotionally mature man (relatively), someone passionate, someone more unself-consciously in touch with his desires. Even though she’s a stunning, bright talent, it’s more clear to me why she’s with him than the other way around. Of course she’s gorgeous and lovely, but what is his ability to truly relate to her? What exactly is so attractive about someone who could be his child? Is she just an object to him? Is there a projected (or real?) “innocence” that is the turn on? What exactly is the kink? Soft pedophilia? I know it’s sexism, but what kind?

Image result for garden state gif innocent

The piece raised more questions than answers, as all bad think pieces do, and pretty much as soon as I woke up I knew it was unusable.

What am I doing?

I’m writing about Florence Pugh and her dumb boyfriend because I’m scared to write about astrology. It’s been a long time, and I feel self-conscious. Yesterday was a powerful new moon eclipse in Aquarius, my rising sign and one of my favorites. But this one was poorly aspected (squared) to its home planet, Uranus which is stuck in the mud of Taurus until 2026, making it very tense and uncomfortable.

In other words, this moon is the sign of being a total alien, but it’s at odds with that sign’s one true home. Can the perpetually homesick get even more homesick?

This new moon heralds in Aquarius season as we will know it in 2020, and what we’re getting is Big Divorce Energy. A mood that looks at every connection in our lives and skips ahead 10 years to its inevitable dissolution. Whether or not we presage these grim endings or create them through belief is a question for Pisces season…

Related image

The future doesn’t always look bright to Aquarians—it looks like whatever the future is because they have the insight to really see it. And no one is as ready as Aquarians to accept that dystopia and war are on their way—not even Aries. Because Aquarius is about changing the old order, and those guards don’t just stand down; the status quo must be fully conquered before we can erect new systems. And that’s war.

This is why Aquarians are both known for their affinity for justice and humanitarian goodwill and also a tendency toward unempathetic absolutism. Because rarely do folks engage in the latter without believing in the ideals of the former. The goodness of Aquarians depends on their ability to recognize and contain their instincts for tyranny. That’s a hard thing to trust anyone to do.

With this new moon bringing up such a difficult incarnation of Aquarian energy, we have to be even braver and humbler, and more willing to see ourselves as the monsters we so compulsively want to fight—and, of course, to forgive ourselves for our unforgiveable sins.

Horoscopes until February

As Zach Braff wonders at the end of Garden State, a movie he wrote about a man falling in love with a woman-child, “what do we do?”

I don’t know, Zach, but here’s what’s up as I see it until February. All times are Eastern.

This weekend 📚

  • Saturday and Sunday are both kind of nothing days, with the moon going void of course today at 2:06 p.m. until 6:44 p.m. tomorrow evening. Basically these are times to power through your to-do lists and not be very social. Unless hanging out with people is on your to-do list, in which case bombs away.

Monday 💕

  • Venus and Neptune are cozy together in Pisces at 3:00 p.m., which is stunning. Venus is the planet of love, and Neptune is the planet of glamour and artistic genius and intoxication—so Neptune represents a higher evolution of Venus. When Venus is in the sign of Pisces (which is ruled by Neptune) it’s considered “exalted,” and that’s where Venus and Neptune are joining forces today. This is an opportunity for brilliance, spiritual revelation, getting people on your side, getting people to fall in love with you, falling in love with yourself, saving or making money. This aspect isn’t about struggling for growth—it’s an invitation to dance.

Tuesday 😭

  • Watch out for Mars and Neptune squaring off at 5:34 a.m. That’s early, but this energy of sharp tongues and easily hurt feelings may pervade the morning.

Wednesday 🐏

  • Moon is in Aries, which is pure harmony for me (I was born with my moon in Aries) and an invitation to be in your body today and win a push-up contest.

Thursday 😎

  • A fine day, nothing too exciting going on.

Friday 💙

  • The moon is void from 10:10 a.m. until 7:28 p.m., when it enters Taurus, a sweet and calm place for it to be going into next weekend. No big strategic initiatives or interviews today—just keep your head down and finish up the tasks right in front of you. Everything else can wait until February… ❄

This new moon is huge 🌑

And it wants you to get everything 💖

🏹 Sagittarius new moon doesn’t come in small 🏹

There’s a new moon in Sagittarius TODAY, and it’s sweet and uncomplicated, just like Sagittarius wants to be!

funny zooey deschanel GIF by New Girl

Sagittarius is one of the hardest signs for me to understand—probably because I’m a Gemini, and they sits farthest from me on the zodiac wheel. Our opposite signs represent our exact energy but inverted, so the relationship often rolls between identification and alienation.

Sagittarian energy is abundant, the absolute biggest of the zodiac. Even when I’ve known a quiet centaur, they have loud voices. They are too much, but spread so thin across their varied interests (and literally across the planet in their travels) that you always want more. That’s how they get away with everything.

The new moon today at 10:06 a.m. will mark the union of the sun with the moon in the biggest and most optimistic sign in the zodiac. Like all lunar events of this nature, this is an opportunity to write down wishes (I always recommend coming up with ten) for the next month or few months. Some are for me, some for my family, some long-term, some right away.

Red Carpet GIF by AMAs

But the spirit of Sagittarius compels us to adopt a LARGE FORMAT for our desires. Remember, Sagittarius comes after Scorpio, the deepest and most interior of all the signs. Now is our time to be completely external. Maximal. Dimensional in our one-dimensionality. Wish for fame, because what Sagittarius lacks in material wealth it makes up for in INFLUENCE. Wish for things you truly don’t deserve, because Sagittarius (and its ruler, Jupiter) grants us bounty with no strings attached. We can’t possibly earn all the goodness this season wants for us, so don’t worry about trying. Just delight in it. 🍭

Horoscopes through November

This is a truly spectacular week—or at least that’s what it looks like from a planetary analysis standpoint. All times are Eastern, which I agree is unfair.

Tuesday 11/26:


  • Not much else going on today, so we’ll be experiencing a pure expression of this hopeful potential!

  • Make ten wishes this morning after it peaks at 10:06 a.m.—don’t do it before! 😜

Wednesday 11/27:

  • Little bit of clash between Neptune, Our Patron Saint of Magical Thinking, and the moon at 6:38 a.m., which can cloud our judgment and make us susceptible to false emotional promises or choose empty but seductive people. It would be wise to make this whole morning one of cautious introspection. Don’t sign things or make new agreements. Vet what people say to you. Vet what you say to yourself. We are highly bamboozle-able during aspects like these.

  • But then Our Aforementioned Saint Neptune goes direct at 7:33 a.m. after being in retrograde since June! A few things:

    1. The big outer planets like Neptune go retrograde for much longer spells than Mercury, which is why we don’t make as big a deal about them. Their retrogrades are meaningful, but the impact is more sustained. We get used to it.

    2. Furthermore, big outer planets tend to move societies rather than individuals, so we (astrologers, Kikis) de-emphasize its meaning for you and me when discussing it in a broad setting.

    3. However, this doesn’t mean it doesn’t play out with major consequences. Some of the worst experiences in my whole life coincided with a difficult Neptune transit, because Neptune can shroud us in a heroin-like haze that enables our worst escapist tendencies and goads us to leave behind everything we love. It’s not all bad—Neptune can inspire the greatest artistic breakthroughs or humanitarian instincts of your life—but I want to emphasize that you can’t sleep on Neptune, because Neptune will make you sleep. More than any other astrological force, it will not take you by storm. It will take you by drip, encouraging you in small, imperceptible increments to betray your whole life for something that feels so good precisely because it feels like nothing at all.

    4. But anyway, the heroin danger of Neptune is much less when it goes direct, and we have its potency on our side, enabling breakthroughs and insights beyond what we see in front of us. In other words: we can finally trust the drugs we’ve chosen to get us through our days.

Thursday 11/28:

  • Thanksgiving, a colonialist holiday.

  • Unbelievably, this is a day of completely harmonious aspects. So have any argument you want.

  • The moon is void of course from 5:50 to 7:33 a.m., but that’s fine. When the moon is void of course, it presents an opportunity to reflect, introspect, and finish projects that were already in the works. It’s very much like Mercury retrograde in that way, only more relevant to our emotional states rather than our communicative ones. Those dimensions are different but functionally extremely interrelated, so the effect is similar. But as the kids who are rapidly growing up say: it’s a mood. And for those of us in and near the Eastern time zone, it’s probably too early to worry about.

Friday 11/29:

  • Moon is in hardworking Capricorn, which is a bit serious but not unpleasant. A Capricorn moon situates you comfortably within your own power. Suffer no fools today.

  • Moon is extremely friendly today with Neptune (now direct!), Mercury (also direct!), Saturn, and Pluto, which means you’re covered with good energy from small, interpersonal conversations to major reexaminations of contracts to short trips. Given the holiday and high likelihood of travel, that is exceptionally good news.

Saturday 11/30:

  • Mercury and Saturn have a glittering interaction at 1:12 p.m., which gives structure and power to conversations you’re having at that time. Do not waste this aspect on people who aren’t worth your time—this is for those who add real value only. You can hang with the scrubs later.

  • But don’t make too many plans during your power lunch, because the moon is void of course until it shimmies into cool-headed Aquarius at 3:13 p.m. As I’ve said, moon void of course is a blessed time to move forward on projects already in motion, so BE PRESENT to your life and don’t think too much about the future—a known stressor, of course. Instead, be cool with being in medias res. That’s where you really are, anyway.

A full moon that will actually satisfy you

It wouldn't be Taurus if it weren't decadent... 🥧

There are two astrological elephants in the room 🐘🐘

Three, if you count the fact that I took a month off this newsletter and I’m sending on a Tuesday like I’m Rob Brezsny or something. Hi.

But the other two are responsible for why everything feels chaotic and intense right now.

It’s possible that *some* of you are actually fine right now—and if so, you deserve my bitterest envy—but, I don’t know, are you really? Everyone seems to be going through it, and there are two clear cosmic perpetrators.

  1. 🌕 Tuesday’s full moon in Taurus 🌕

It’s Tuesday, and at 8:34 a.m. Eastern, the moon was fully full in the fullest sign of all time, Taurus.

Full moons always stir tensions and then release them, which sounds sexier than they usually are—but this one might feel really good.

Her Majesty of the Zodiac Susan Miller says this one will be a sweet and cuddly full moon:

The full moon in Taurus of November 12 is friendly, one that will receive golden rays from Pluto. Having the support of Pluto is significant—this month, Pluto can assist you in a strong and noticeable way. You will also receive support from Saturn, and that’s the planet that urges you to plan for the long road ahead.

Astrologer, podcast host, and author Jessica Lanyadoo also thinks this full moon will be healing—and sustainable.

Full Moons bring your feelings and passions to the surface so that you deal with them. ‪Expect this Full Moon to either bring about an ending of something deep, or an insight that you can’t quite make use of yet. ‬ ‪Be willing to listen to the subtext of what’s being said, or potentially what isn’t being said at all. ‬

Protect what you love by being present for it.
The Moon will be full Taurus on the 12th at 5:34amPT (☽19°♉︎52’☍☉19°♏︎52’). For loads more 411 on this event, listen to episode 72 of my weekly show, @ghostofapodcast wherever podcasts are heard and also read my weekly horoscope - available only on my website! Link to both in bio 💝.
November 11, 2019

Okay, I admit, therapy this morning was restorative, but then why was I on the bottom of my bathtub crying last night? Why am I double-fisting oat matchas these days? Why can’t I stop belting show tunes? (Actually, that one has nothing to do with the moon; that’s just my insufferable personality.)

The answer: Even the sweetest, most benevolent, cathartic, and healing full moon is still a FULL F*CKING MOON.

And full moons, while incredible and necessary, are hard. We’re not meant to live at the highest emotional tide possible, but there we are, spilling over the dams we’ve carefully erected to guard our composure and dignity. There is no such grace for us today and the rest of this week. We must flow like water and give into being the clowns we are. 🤡

Full moons are always a tug of war between who we are (the sun) and what we want (the moon). So today, here are the teams:

  • Who is on the moon’s side: Saturn, Pluto, Neptune

  • Who is on the sun’s side: Mercury.

The astrologers are right, of course, that the benevolent relationship between Saturn, Pluto, Neptune, and the moon are sure to endow us with power, self-possession, and wisdom we can apply for the long term. We need that, and this full moon may bring something quieter and less excruciating than previous moons. It might just be a little tough love and incremental progress, with the attendant feeling of satisfaction that comes with getting a little bit of work done. Despite all this big, responsible, earthy themes, it wouldn’t be a Taurus full moon if we weren’t meant to savor it.

But then there’s Mercury…

  1. 🛑 Mercury’s still deeply retrograde 🛑

We’re not out of these mercurial woods yet. Mercury is still retrograde until November 20, and then truly back to normal on December 7. And, again, I’ll universalize my own experience and say that this particular turn o’ the ‘grade has been supercharged. It’s not just that technology and transit has failed me of late (although it has), or that I’ve regretted every word that’s coming flying out of my mouth (although I have)—it’s that the stakes of each small miscommunication feel so HIGH right now. And that I attribute to Scorpio.

Both the sun and Mercury are in Scorpio, which is a quiet sign. Scorpio likes power and gets it through being withholding. That’s inherently at odds with Mercury, which longs to communicate. So messages are coming in between the lines. People are making their presence known without saying too much.

The stereotype of Mercury retrograde is that you reconnect with people in your past, and, right on cue, I’ve had a lot of open threads recently with people I haven’t talked to in a long time. But the back-and-forth has been minimal. It feels significant (and it is), but there’s not a lot of text. That is very indicative of this particular season. It’s about people popping in to let you know they're listening, but not sharing too much about what they think. Classic Scorpio power moves. So that’s the mysterious backdrop against which this full moon is manifesting.

And that’s why we’re all feeling feelings, even if you swear you’re fine right now. 🤓

You’re really your opposite sign 🎭

I recently wrote a piece for Cosmo on opposite signs and why you may identify much more strongly with your zodiac counterpart than your actual sign. (Sidebar: doesn’t “Cosmo” sound like it should be an astrology magazine? Wouldn’t be a bad pivot for them…)

Anyway, here’s what I said:

The zodiac is a wheel cut 12 ways. Each bisection is an axis, and the entire axis means something as a whole. Basically, your opposite sign sits at the farthest point from you on the circle, representing the same energy but inverted. Aka it shares your essential qualities and desires but approaches them in divergent ways. Taken as a pair, your Sun sign and opposite sign generate a fuller spectrum of meaning, and their relationship can light up what’s missing in the solo read of your Sun sign.

As someone who doesn’t believe in astrology, I am obsessed with this concept. If your sun sign doesn’t make sense, well maybe you’re your opposite sign! If that’s not quite right, then I can contextualize it with your moon and rising. Now what about their opposite signs? I will not stop until every single weird tic of your SOUL is somehow accounted for in your birth chart. Trust me, we’ll make this fit…

cinderella GIF

Anyway, the TL;DR of it all is this:

  • ♈ Aries are romantic

  • ♉ Taurus are obsessive

  • ♊ Geminis are bombastic

  • ♋ Cancers are cunning

  • ♌ Leos are impersonal

  • ♍ Virgos are scattered

  • ♎ Libras are aggressive

  • ♏ Scorpios are chill

  • ♐ Sagittarians are in the weeds

  • ♑ Capricorns are nurturing

  • ♒ Aquarians are warm

  • ♓ Pisces are sharp

Because this all makes sense if you want it to. 💋

Horoscopes for this week

These actually soothed me to write, which is not the usual course of events. Writing horoscopes stresses me out sometimes, because I feel trapped by the future even though I’m always the one telling everyone that’s not how this works. It’s not that I’ve made any personal growth or come to new understandings; it’s just that this week seems pretty calm besides the full moon. In the Taurean spirit, let’s make a meal of it.

All times are Eastern because I live in New York.

Tuesday 11/12:


Wednesday 11/13:

  • Gemini moon puts us in an intellectually sound—and emotionally scattered—place. But it’s a honey of a day, and we’ve more than earned a little post-moon soothing.

  • With Mercury and Saturn singing a duet at 9:35 a.m., your words and decisions will be particularly potent and meaningful. Any advice you give will make a material difference for others and reinforce your reputation as a valuable counselor among friends, colleagues, clients. My ego is already so horny for this aspect and I’m ready to don my armchair therapist pants…

  • Then the sun and Pluto, two most powerful creatures in the zodiac, are having a ball together at 12:56 p.m. That bodes well for relationships with people in positions of power, so if you need to plead your case a VIP or be loud in a room, you will have the self-possession and personal charisma necessary to be effective. Probably!

  • Mercury and Neptune are such good friends at 5:34 p.m., which is another opportunity to write and connect with people. Just make sure you’re connecting with someone who is good for your heart, because this aspect can make people fall in love really easily. 💘

Thursday 11/14:

  • Not loving this day for love, artistic inspiration, or glamour.

  • We start with the moon opposing Venus, who is supposed to help us with aesthetics and diplomacy and money.

  • Then it squares Neptune, who is like an intense and spiritual Venus, guiding our imaginations and ability to soften our realities with storytelling and artistic insight.

  • Then all that fighting with the moon takes a toll around lunchtime, and Venus and Neptune turn on each other, which is fucked up, but you know I love this drama. However, in real life, we may not experience this aspect as a safe spectator but as a participant, leading to arguments with loved ones, creative differences (bad ones) with collaborators, or just a general disillusionment and lack of ability to perceive beauty in your environs. I already want to move on from this day…

Friday 11/15:

  • Moon is having a lot of fun with two of the most volatile planets, Mars and Uranus at around 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. respectively. This gifts us with energy and originality. If you’ve made any changes in the wake of the full moon or experienced a shift in dynamics with someone important, this is your window to chart a new future and take decisive next steps. If it feels good and freeing, you’re on the right path.

  • Then the moon enters Cancer, where it feels most at home. You could cry today, and honestly, you should. It’ll feel good.

Saturday 11/16:

  • Moon is beautifully angled to Mercury and Neptune, which is why I’ve just decided to make sure I get some writing done on this day. But Mercury isn’t only about literal writing—it’s about connecting with others and sharing experiences. So if you wanted to plan a whole trip to the museum with your friends and invite me, I’m in.

  • Then the moon is opposed to Saturn, which can trigger any of the following: depression, feelings of not being good enough, frustration with authority figures, general oppression, etc. Saturn always wants us to put our heads down and work, but the joke is on Saturn, because there are lots of different kinds of work you can do. Like laying down in child’s pose with the lights off to avoid your responsibilities…

Sunday 11/17:

  • Cranky day for the moon, who is squaring the sun, Mars, and Uranus. Listen, don’t argue with anyone today. Just don’t get into it. Just—if you see the conversation starting to go in a contentious direction, politely excuse yourself from the room. Mars and Uranus thrive on conflict. Go home instead. Don’t look at your phone. Well, you can look, but don’t write anything. But you’ll want to. And you will. And it’ll be explosive. And what can I say, I forgive you already. You should forgive yourself, too.

Happy Mean Girls Day 😈

October 3rd is worth celebrating this year 🎉

“When did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody?”

It’s not okay for one person to be the boss of everybody. Thank you, Gretchen Weiners. Power should never go unchecked, and the heavier your tiara, the higher your standard of accountability. Should you be flagrant and irresponsible with your elevated perch, you shall be knocked down to earth.

That reckoning can come, astrologically speaking, through many different planetary forces. But this Mean Girls Day, three major events will lead this revolution.

  1. Pluto stations direct in Capricorn

October 3rd will crystallize a shift that’s been brewing since April. Pluto, planet of power disparities, possessiveness, and desire, was retrograde and will station direct this Thursday.

october lyn GIF

Pluto is the poison that rots society from the inside out and must be eliminated, flung to the furthest corners of the Solar System. That’s why he’s out there all alone. He represents the ultimate exile for betrayal.

The stakes with Pluto are as high as they get, and he usually governs huge generational and societal shifts. Pluto is not associated with straight up revolution—that’s Uranus’ gig—but he’s about longer-term change. He’s about transformation, like a coal into diamond, and it can’t be brought about by any great charismatic leader and new marketing lingo. It’s pressure and time and nothing else. 💎

Right now, Pluto is in Capricorn. He has been since 2008, and he will be until 2024. This gives us some clue about how he’s applying that time and pressure I discussed. Capricorn is the sign of order, accountability, tradition, and laws. No one can sit above it, and those who try—especially by way of guile, profligacy, or megalomania. Saturn is sober and wants you to remember that resources are scarce. If you’re wasteful, manipulative, and high on your own drama, you will be rudely awakened. And summarily fired.

I wrote this longer piece on why I’m scared of Pluto! 🎃💀

Pluto Wants You to Open Your Hand

Pluto is a horror villain, showing up like a bright-eyed psychopath who smiles and says nothing. He won’t leave. And you don’t know what he wants because he won’t tell you, but you can feel him watching you, like a creep, sniffing out whatever it is you don’t want to give up.

Millennials are born with their Plutos in the home sign of Scorpio, which reinforces this notion of digging to the root of a problem and unearthing the truth.

Scorpio is followed by Sagittarius, which is where Gen Z’s Plutos reside. Sagittarius is the most optimisic sign with the highest ambitions of influence. As a pair, Scorpio and Sagittarius behave like a slingshot—Scorpio builds tension and pulls us back into the eye of the dysfunction, and Sagittarius, feeling the freedom and release of the truth, can aim and shoot with all the strength in the world. Sagittarius is the embodiment of being unencumbered—they find liberation in disclosure, truthfulness, transparency, and letting go of everything Scorpio was holding onto.

Millennials and Gen Z together have important work on our hands. We are the first digital generations, and our tools of information, surveillance, and discovery are more powerful than humans have ever known. We are unusually equipped to investigate and surface painful truths that sit at the heart of our societies. We are revealing the viruses that made a comfortable home in our world. And they are fighting back with all the vigor of something that is going to die. And we are publishing it, spreading ideas, growing more ambitious with our demands.

  1. Mercury enters Scorpio

Mercury is only ever one sign away from wherever the sun is, and on October 3rd, he will speed past Libra and into Scorpio. When Mercury is in Scorpio, not only does the truth tend to come out, but it can be articulated in a way that precipitates great change. So Pluto’s forward momentum (and transformational agenda) will only be magnified and reinforced by the powerful communicative talents of Mercury. All the canaries will SING. 🦜

  1. Mars enters Libra

And, as if October 3rd wasn’t a big enough day, Mars will also enter Libra (technically after midnight that night).

Mars and Libra have a (sexually) tense relationship, as Mars rules over Libra’s opposite, Aries. When planets move into their sign’s opposite, they are said to be in their detriment.

A sign can provide four kinds of placements for a planet:

  1. Dignity (a planet in its home sign, comfortable, happy, relaxing)

  2. Exaltation (a planet in a sign that elevates that planet’s power)

  3. Detriment (a planet cranky in its sign’s opposite)

  4. Fall (a planet in its absolute worst position, literally falling down)

So in this case, Mars is not comfortable in Libra’s turf. He’s unable to exercise dominion because he has no dominion here. He has to play by Libra’s rules—amiability, diplomacy, cooperation—which are the total antithesis of his own. This means that his power is diminished, and so are the things we get from Mars during his stay in Libra. That means our motivation, physical stamina, and willpower may be compromised. It’s not a good time to strain our bodies or have surgery. And popping off when we’re angry will likely not be received well (even if we’re right). We’ve just got to take it like a Libra and make nice.

Bonus: I made a little chart that identifies all the various placements for each planet. I’m pretty mad that Gemini has no position wherein it is exalted. We’re kind of fairy-like, so maybe I could say our baseline is in exaltation, but you and I know the sad truth. 🧚🏻‍♀️

Horoscopes for every day besides October 3rd!

All the above news was JUST for Thursday. Here’s what’s going on the rest of the week. All times are Eastern.

Monday 9/30

  • Remember last Tuesday the 24th? On that day, the moon squared Uranus, planet of invention and disruption and progress. And squaring is a tough aspect—a lot of news shook out that day that leveled many in power (CEOs were fired, whistleblowers came forward, etc.). It caused a lot of mess, but Uranus always does. He is not efficient. He is an idealist, and if society is incubating some rot that must be removed, he’s not going to care about preserving good tissue when conducting his extraction. He wants that zit to POP. Out with the old; violently, irrevocably.

  • Anyway, I don’t know how it felt to you, but we have a potentially more volatile aspect between the Scorpio moon and Uranus today at 2:55 p.m. Same issues will be raised—old vs. new, erratic changes—but the difference is that oppositions typically play out in our personal lives as conflict with another person (rather than a system or oneself). I’m not saying you should anticipate an explosive battle with someone else. It’s Uranus; you’ll never see it coming! 😱

Tuesday 10/1

  • This is what I’m talking about. The Scorpio moon is in good favor with Neptune, planet of divine inspiration and glamour, and Pluto, planet of power dynamics and deep desires. You may find yourself comfortably in need of no one but your own good company. You are your own generative source of entertainment and enlightenment. 💡

Wednesday 10/2

  • The moon is void of course (aka retrograde, de-fanged, half asleep) starting at 7:44 a.m., so I wouldn’t schedule anything important all day. No interviews, no kick-offs, no haircuts, no first dates. But great day to catch up on errands, old projects, or ongoing relationships.

Thursday 10/3


  • Also—there’s a delightful gift in the middle of the day when the Sagittarius moon conjuncts Jupiter at 4:40 p.m. This is a particularly lucky aspect, so if you’re inclined to take any gambles (interpret that as broadly as you like), go for it. 🏹

Friday 10/4

  • The Capricorn moon squares Mars at 2:26 p.m., which means you could have friction with someone close to you or with an authority figure. Walk away from any tension you sense building around that time.

  • On the flip side, the moon is also making nice with Mercury at 5:52 p.m., so that’s your opportunity to talk it out.

Saturday 10/5

  • The Capricorn moon is cranky at the sun at 12:47 p.m. You may feel put upon by responsibilities (perhaps an abundance of chores) or an overwhelmingly serious mood. Don’t feel bad about not wanting to see people today. Nothing wrong with a Saturday by yourself with your to-do list.

Sunday 10/6

  • Little bit of a tough aspect with the moon and Venus at odds at 7:25 p.m. I wouldn’t do anything romantic or buy anything big online. Don’t seek out an expensive or aesthetic experience. This is not a Sunday for beautification. Some Sundays are, but not this one.

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